Humour is one element that for some odd reason seems to be missing from the permaculture books I’ve read. This could be due to the nature of such books; they tend to be manuals missing the storytelling elements of a good book that you can get lost in for hours at a time.

Permaculture is not void of humour Bill Mollison part creator of permaculture back in the 1970’s could tell a great story. His book “Travels in Dreams: An Autobiography” is a page-turner, 863 pages to be precise of Bill telling his story from leaving school at fifteen to helping run the family bakery and before 26 was a shark fisherman and seaman, forester, millworker, trapper, snarer, tractor driver and naturalist.

Bill’s sense of humour in his storytelling helped me become more and more interested in permaculture. There is a Bill Mollison and Geoff Lawton PDC that was filmed many moons ago and is still available online that I got hold of and watched as I was getting interested in permaculture. Bill's performance in this PDC is second to none with his dry sense of humour and storytelling running through all his talks providing the listener with the fundamentals of permaculture told in a way that you forget you are in a lecture hall and not sitting around a campfire with an old friend.

As I gained a little more confidence during my permaculture diploma, I started to sneak a little humour into my design writeups. The easiest place to do this was in the permaculture principles and ethics section of a design. In my early designs, I would use bullet points to highlight how my design was using the principles and ethics, this felt very sterile and was just a box-ticking exercise. At the end of my diploma, the principles and ethics section became my favourite part of the design process where I would weave a story into how I used them in my design, adding a little humour where needed.

In my latest design “Kitchen Garden Revolutions” the first design I wrote up after finishing my diploma I’m free to experiment with writing how I want. Below you will find the section from this design exploring the permaculture principles and ethics taken from a slightly different viewpoint, one that was rather cold.

My use of the permaculture principles in this design is largely focused on the time I spent submerged in rather cold water throughout the winter of 2022 and into 2023 while sitting in a 75-gallon oak wine barrel that I had purchased to use as an ice bath and started using in September. Yes, I had been listening to and reading a lot of Wim Hof and decided I needed to test out what he was saying about cold water exposure.

Thankfully before winter fully took hold, I came across the work of Dr Susanna Søberg. Dr Søberg has a much more grounded approach to cold water exposure, and I recommend her book, Winter Swimming - The Nordic Way Towards a Healthier and Happier Life.

I will now take you on a journey of self-discovery through the permaculture principles for this design.

OBSERVE & INTERACT

When you spend lots of time in your garden you get to notice things that feel not quite right. This feeling usually comes not when you are actively looking to see where changes and improvements could be made, but more appears in your thoughts when you are trying to focus on something far removed from gardening. For me sitting in a barrel of cold water at 5 a.m. on an icy winter morning is an ideal time to contemplate the garden. Admittedly it’s a welcome relief to be momentary swept into a warm summer thought marvelling over growing beans up tall bamboo cains. To be honest, the barrel of ice-cold water at 5 a.m. in winter should be everybody's go-to tool for mental discovery. Mental is the keyword to success here.

Observation is one of my favourite hobbies, it certainly beats digging out and levelling garden beds by far, especially on hot days, something I’m a master at choosing whenever I need to partake in such an exciting job. I find it much more rewarding to do it on the hottest day you can find. Oh, the joys of reminiscing over when I first started the major ground works for this garden in the past. A word of advice, there are times when interaction is better left alone, notably on hot days.

This permaculture principle of “observe and interact” is such a lovely principle and my chosen one if I and to choose just one. I’ve spent so much time thinking about and planning what I could do to improve this top side of my garden it’s a wonder I have not thought it into existence by now.

CATCH & STORE ENERGY

Some mornings when I am very lucky, I may get into my barrel at 4:30 a.m. after scooping several inches of snow from the oak lid. The water always seems to feel a bit warmer when it snows. I think to myself how lucky I am whilst remembering my keyword to success, mental.

On these same mornings, the water stored inside my barrel seems to energise me somewhat. As soon as I get in, I feel the need to jump out and shout as loud as I can to tell my neighbours how happy I currently feel, but alas I resist this glorious temptation and embrace the morning air whilst still seated in the water. It is at times like this that having a kitchen garden makes all the difference to one’s life and to be able to view it from such a lovely oak seat is so relaxing.

OBTAIN A YIELD

As I contemplate picking my pole beans, my mind obtains yields that feed the body on the highest levels of consciousness. It may be the middle of winter but already I have visions of the food I will be picking on those hot summer days in the heat of summer. Oh, how I marvel at the yield these new beds will be producing in the heat of the summer sunshine.

APPLY SELF-REGULATION & ACCEPT FEEDBACK

As tempting as it is I do need to apply self-regulation when spending time in my beautiful barrel on an icy winter morning before even the robin has woken up. Too much time spent relaxing in the soothing water will drop my body temperature a little too much and I find this shakes my thoughts throughout the day so accepting a little body feedback is always a good service to take onboard.

This is the most important permaculture principle that I have learnt when planning a garden design and that is to not try to do too much in one design.

USE & VALUE RENEWABLE RESOURCES & SERVICES

Oh, how I value my oak barrel, looking back to when I first bought it and told friends of my intention to fill it with water and get into it each morning, I still remember the smiles my words produced across their faces. "You are going to get into it each morning?" Was their first reaction, followed by, well it’s a lovely barrel that could be used for something else when you no longer use it. Friends can be such good motivators at times, it’s a joy to have such people in my life.

I’ve used galvanised trough planters, made from extremely durable Zincalume steel with colourbond coating so they last up to four times longer than regular galvanised steel for three of my other beds in the garden. Without sounding too much like an advertisement, these beds look very nice, and I would like to believe what they say about lasting a long time so I’m thinking of perhaps adding more of these. The problem I find with designing for small space gardens is your options for adding the correct bed into the space you have. In larger spaces, you can go wild and get creative and use bulker materials for beds, but in small space design every inch of space matters so there are times when you need to think about materials more practically and if this involves having to take a hit and buy something like steel then make sure you buy something that will last you a long time, and look after it.

PRODUCE NO WASTE

The way I look at it, I fill my barrel once a week with cold water and I get to soak in that same water once a day for a week, just imagine filling your bath once a week and using that same water each day for a soak. I’m sure your partner would be very impressed with the economical use of water that you leave in the bathtub. The barrel is much more efficient and there is no need to heat it, and at the end of the week, you can water your garden with the water.

The 8” galvanised edging that I currently have running around my bed I’ve already got a use for to stop me having to constantly sweep the public footpath after the blackbirds have rooted around underneath my beach hedge. The plan will be to put the edging at the edge of the path to hold back my garden from the path. When I do design, I like to plan where I can reuse any materials that need to be removed. This is an often-overlooked part of a design and one to be very conscious of.

DESIGN FROM PATTERNS TO DETAILS

Looking at what has worked well from the last kitchen garden design upgrade, the galvanised trough planters have been an amazing addition. Many a morning I’ve sat in the oak barrel and wondered if I should perhaps build the galvanised trough planters into a different shape for this space and many a weekend, I’ve got my tape measure out to check the size of the space and always end up concluding to stick with the same shape as my other beds.

They say that ice baths can give you a dopamine hit, this is why it’s always good to get the tape measure out and fact-check your thoughts.

INTEGRATE RATHER THAN SEGREGATE

The biggest problem I’ve had with my oak barrel has been with worms. For some reason, the worms from my wormery just love to go on adventures at night and climb up the side of the barrel and drop into the water. I don’t have a problem with bathing with worms but alas the worms drown and then the water takes on a strange smell. I’m sure my plants love the water at this point, but I do have to draw the line somewhere with my integration and some segregation is needed. I now have muslin cloth over the top of the barrel, a foam edge packing protector, and a bungy cord. Worms are very clever creatures when it comes to finding a way into a barrel of water.

Expanding the galvanised trough planters into the top side of the garden I will integrate this final small space with the rest of the garden and adding paths around the beds will add even more value to this space.

USE SMALL & SLOW SOLUTIONS

A note to all men, when it comes to small, sitting in ice-cold water any time of day will produce miniature versions of what you once had. For comedy value this is priceless, to impress other people you may want to skip this.

Fortunately, here I only have a small piece to start with, so I do not need to worry about largeness. Working with something so small you have limited uses so it’s important to use it wisely, this helps in making it look bigger than it is and is another reason to keep measuring the size of what you have so you do not get caught out later.

When you have something so small, I find it is also best to go nice and slow to find the best solution, rushing never turns out best in the long run.

I perhaps should have made better use of this part of the garden in my last redesign but as a learning curve, splitting designs up into smaller segments enables you to give more thought to an area that you wish to develop. This is now highlighted to me in this design when such a small space has been able to take up a full permaculture design.

USE & VALUE DIVERSITY

On a weekend it would be a little later when I get into the barrel, with only my head visible birds seem to no longer feel threatened by a human form and I’ve sat amazed at how close the more elusive birds tend to get when I’m enjoying the calming waters. This year I’ve had redpolls on the feeders a few feet from me. This may not sound impressive if you are not interested very much in birds but for me it was stunning. I’ve also sat and watched wood mice forage under the feeders and sat transfixed at squirrels that have been so engrossed in their world they cannot see my body-less head looking at them. It’s like I’m wearing an invisibility cloak, just a bit heavier and less mobile.

As with all my garden designs wildlife is a key characteristic of the final design. I want to encourage more wildlife into the garden in a way that is practical and still be able to produce food for myself.

USE EDGES & VALUE THE MARGINAL

Of all my thoughts in my 5 a.m. sessions, access to the grow beds has been of paramount importance. As cold as my body has got, I’ve always been clear when it comes to the need to have full access all year round to my garden. Having areas of a very small garden out of bounds due to excessive plant growth may sound impressive but it becomes a nightmare. Adding height to the growing spaces adds value, and containing plants with the use of chicken wire surrounds helps keep paths open. More importantly, use your space wisely and grow plants in the correct place in the garden.

CREATIVELY USE & RESPOND TO CHANGE

A large woolly hat makes a huge difference in preventing me from convincing myself I’m very cold when enjoying the pleasures that cold water exposure provides you with. Or the large woolly hat confirms that yes you are mental, that same keyword to discovery.

Permaculture Ethics.

Earth care, people care and fair share.

Let's go straight to fair share, this winter you are invited to come and try out my barrel for yourself. How is that for an offer that you can’t refuse? Life is about sharing what we have with each other. Fear not the worm situation is no longer and problem so it will be just your good self in the water at any one time. As a recommendation a woolly hat is a good addition, I will also lend you mine if needed. So please drop me an email and I will make sure the water is nice and fresh for your arrival. See you soon.

At the same time as fair share, knowing what I know now about cold-water exposure the use of the barrel is some of the best people care going. Having a small space kitchen garden is not just about growing food, it’s about enhancing life. If getting in a barrel of ice-cold water when most people are still in bed is not your thing, then when the sun shines, I’ve designed into this garden a seating area that is a morning sun trap. Even the winter sun is a pleasure to enjoy in this calm space. This February I was sat with my shirt off enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin. Fortunately, by now my neighbours expect to see me half naked in the garden at any time of the year, not that I’ve ever been too bothered about what the neighbours think of me.

Designing gardens with nature habitat included is a key factor in my designs. Earth care is the ethic that caught my imagination when I first discovered the concept of permaculture design. As I become more experienced with the design process ecology is becoming more important in my decision making. For this reason, when I’m designing what to do with this small space, I do not want to disrupt the number of birds that are now using my garden as a feeding station throughout the year.

Whether I’m submerged in my barrel, sitting reading in the sun, or looking through the kitchen window at all the different types of birds on the feeders while preparing food grown in the garden, I see all three permaculture principles in action.

Notes

The full permaculture design can be viewed here: the pollen gardens

My Diploma in Applied Permaculture Design Portfolio can be viewed here: Design Portfolio

For more information on the Permaculture Principles visit: https://permacultureprinciples.com/

Travels in Dreams: An Autobiography: by Bill Mollison. This book is out of print and second-hand copies are currently selling for around £210. I paid £20.24 including postage in 2015, it did take a while to find the book at this price, even in 2015 it was also selling for £200 plus so keep checking the usual online second-hand booksellers for a reasonably priced copy. It is worth keeping a lookout for.